Tears..AGAIN ?

" *Aina! im soooo glad to hear that finally you met someone..you're so sweet with him..and Im so jelouse(: "

From Leena's blog . Ehm , thanks for love to see me happy Leena . BUT , He is not mine longer . Who wants him ? take !

Tearssss falling again . I hate it ! serious talk . i hate to see my tears . i dont want to see it either . i still love him him and , today when i wake up in the morning , the first thing i looked is my phone . I took my phone and typing some text .. " Good morning b :) " , but a second before i wanted to send it i realized that , i've broke up with him yesterday and he is not my B anymooreeeee !And at that moment , my tears fall again . i cant stand be like this anymore . The reason i'm not going to school is i dont want to hear people ask me about him and why we put a fullstop on this relationship . i miss everything about him .. his text his voice ... while updating this post , my tears is falling like a rain .. and i am so ashamed towards myself ... i feel like i am so lemah ... All this while , i am a strong lady ... But why now i'm crying like hell ? Last night we texted each other and i felt so happy ! felt like we still a couple and yeah , i cried . You must wondering why am i crying ? actually i felt like B is texting me.. OMG , so sucks is it ? Life like in a dream .. Tak berpijak di bumi yang nyata .. I dont know sampai bila i should through this ... i cant stand ... And when i remembered back the way we texted at the first time , i dont even thought that he can be the one who i will miss and love ... The way he "herm" with me ... i miss it .. But i know , it has been written to us .. But i love the way he pujuk me ... " If ada jodoh , you still can be mine and i can still be yours .. and , you still can be a mum for my kids .. " is that shows that he wants me again ? If in future i meet him and at that time , can i accept him back ? If he ask me to be someone to him , will i ? I dont want to be like pisang berbuah dua kali .. No i really dont want .. But yeah , if there is a jodoh between us , wherever i run , he will terpancul jugak in front of my face ... i remembered about songs that we both like ... he love YOUR LOVE IS A LIE , and i love LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE ..

Ainaa : YOUR LOVE IS A LIE !

Azrie : I LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE !

See that ? soo ada kene mngena kan ? OHMYGUCCI .. please lahhh . i dont want to remember about him .. But why aa ? i bukak channel ni ada cerita , sooo same dgn both of us punye cerita ... Sampai semalam i thought mcm whole world like ejek i sebab break off ! i rase so sakit hatiiiii ... But i know its just my feelings . my BAD feelings .. But , he still wanna meet me up ! He still wanna be someone that i closed to :( ... Uwaaaaa .. ee , mengadanye eyna !how i wish ibu is here , so that she can lend her shoulder to me to cry on .. She must understand my feeling kan ? I was about to tell her yesterday when she called me , but .. tak jadi .. because i'm afraid my daddy will hear it ..

" what would my mama do ? if she knew bout me and you ? What would my daddy say ? if he saw me hurt this way ?"

So teruk kan ? hmh :(