The Last Note .

It's was a cold morning . Where my parents came into my room to wake me up for school . As usual .

They knocked the door , thrice .

No answers .

They walked into my room . 

I was still sleeping . Very peacefully .

Mum called my name , no answer.

So she came near me , sat beside me on my bed . Was trying to wake me up . 

She suddenly felt something bad , where she realized that my skin were colourless . 

And she looked at my chest , isn't moving .

She started to feel cold , was holding dad's hand tight . She was almost fainted . It was unbelievable . 

Dad started to scream . He was screaming for me to wake up . 

Both of them started to bursts into tears . 

Last night was the night where they saw I laughed too hard while talking to my brother .

The night where we both sang the happy birthday song to my mum .

The night ended where they both screamed to me , because they found my exam's result . 

The night when they told me , they were so disappointed with me .

The night where they told me , I was useless . I was always the one who made them sad . 

I was the one who's always spoiled brat girl . 

The night where I realized , 

I'm not supposed to live longer in this world . 

The only brother I had , 

Was crying continuously . 

He was calling for my name to wake up .

He told my parents ,if only they kept quiete that night . This won't happened .

He told my parents , how much important I was to him when I was still there .

He told my parents how much 'useless' I was . 

He silently slept in my room so he could feel me. 

He kept on playing my favourite songs , so he could listen to my voice singging . 

The next day ,

The school were quiete . 

My classmates were looking to each other with their unbelievable look .

The girl who's always sit besides me in class , she cried . 

The boys , who's always , came to me with 1001 stupid jokes were surprised . 

My teachers , were all sad . 

They started to have a look at all of my records . Taking it away from the list . 

They looked at each other , then, sharing all the stories of me , when I was still there . Sharing how funny I was , how beautiful I was , how much effort I had done to made everyone smile , how much they loves me , how much I was important to them . 

They started to misses me , the girl who's always have a good manner , the one who'll never went to school without wearing her smiles .

The boyfriend ....

He started to sat alone in his room . Lock his memories with me in his room .

He was looking all over our pictures together. 

How much happy I was that time .

He started to remember , the last night he listened to my pathetic voice . 

I was crying . 

Was saying that I had nobody . And nobody understands me . 

He was the one who's saying , "it's okay , you still have me" 

When the call ended , he thought I was going to sleep . 

No , that was the time where I took the pills and consumed it all . 

That was the time where I let myself sleeps forever . 

The night where I stopped being alone . 

I'm sorry , 

I don't know , all this while , I am too important to each of you guys .

If only you guys showed all these when I was there with you guys , 

You dont have to see the dead me . 

Now , 

I'm gone .

And will never be the one who's always made you guys smile . 

"Sejauh mana hijrah ko dah sampai?"

Assalamualaikum ! Ko jangan kira betapa syok sendiri nya aku tulis blog . Blog aku , eh Lantak la takde orang baca pun kan ? Hehehe .

"Sejauh mana ko dah hijrah?"

Lebih jauh dari London .

lebih jauh dari Brazil .

Kenapa ?

Sebab ko ingat senang nak hijrah ? 

Imagine diri ko sendiri , bertahun dah duduk kat Malaysia , tiba-tiba kena pindah pergi Uzbeskistan. Tempat yang ko tak tau local dia bangsa apa , mother language diorang apa , tulisan diorang cemana . Imagine la , apa rasa ? Mesti Susah kan ? Mesti macam yaAllah-kenapa-kistan-kenapa-tak-London? Kan? Mesti ko rasa macam nak cakap kat mak bapak engko , ko rela duduk Mesia yang indah ni sorang2 kan Lepastu hangin je bila mak pak cakap "JANGAN BUAT PERANGAI MENGADA NGADA KO TU" 

Sama la macam hijrah aku .

Ko ingat senang nak pakai tudung hari panas panas ?

Ko ingat senang aku nak patuh time solat ? Apa lagi subuh yang sejuk tu?

Ko ingat senang aku nak paksa diri bukak Quran setiap hari ? 

Ko ingat senang aku nak jaga percakapan aku? 

Ko ingat senang aku nak pilih baju supaya boleh jaga aurat aku? 

Ko ingat senang ke ?

                       

Nak pakai tudung panas-panas sangat liat . Weh sangat liat . Kadang memang aku rasa macam ish nak bukak la lagi lagi bila aku tengok instagram(ni pengaruh besar I tell you) pastu weh cam cantik je diorang punya hairstyle , haaaa tapi aku gagahkan jugak diri ni pakai!! Lantak la senget benget pun janji thortup aurat . Time solat , 5 Kali sehari . Kan ? Ada je time aku terpaksa solat asar dan Zohor sekali sbb waktu Zohor aku tido kaw kaw . Itu pun asar pukul 6.30 . Perangai aku ni ...... Boleh tahan mintak penampar opah sebenarnya . Yela opah aku tu lain macam sikit , garang kalah cikgu besar! Kalau subuh aku terpaksa buat alarm banyak banyak kat iPad , kat phone supaya aku tak terlelap . Hehehehehe kekadang ter lepas jugak astaghfirullah. Aku ada beli Al Quran yang cantik sekali dengan tafsir dekat popular (highlight perkataan cantik) , so aku setiap Kali lepas Maghrib , nak tunggu Isyak , aku pun bukak la Quran tu , baca , dengan maksud dia . MasyaAllah , boleh nangis . Boleh MENANGIS. percaya lah kata kata aku yang kerdil ni , bahasa terlalu Indah. Maha Suci Allah yang menjadi kan segalanya. Percakapan ni Susah sikit , ye la , aku kan jenis mesra alam , so aku macam Susah sikit nak kawal percakapan aku semua . Susah . Ini memang mencabar! Sama je dengan bab pakaian . Ye la , aku kan jenisnya suka pakai baju size kecik , so bila dah bertukar ni aku banyak la kumpul baju besar besar dan buang baju yang kecik . Atau bagi kat diorang yang MUAT . MUAT ok ? kalau aku tengok cam tak tu , aku buang je . Takyah la pakai camtu ok ? Sia-sia je . 

Banyak benda yang aku belum buat lagi . Serious panjang lagi list aku . Tapi Alhamdulillah , diberi kekuatan tutup aurat semua ni buat aku sedar , Allah masih mengingati aku , bagi aku kesempatan untuk hidup ke jalan Allah . Beri aku Peluang untuk hayati nikmat Islam , IMAN dan AMAL. 

Walau mcmana pun , aku bangga dengan diri sendiri , walau sukar , aku Teruskan . Semoga Allah tak tarik balik hidayah aku , semoga Allah terus kuatkan hati aku . Aku tak pernah pergi mana mana kovensyen Islam , so tahun ni aku Alhamdulillah (satu daripada wishlist hijrah aku) pergi ke Twins Of Faith 2013 . Semoga aku dapat pelbagai iktibar daripada semua yang di bahaskan kat sana nanti , insyaAllah , dengan izin Allah . 

Sebab tu aku cakap lebih jauh dari Brazil , London . Sebab aku kenal diri aku siapa . Aku kenal diri aku yang malas , liat ,degil ni . Aku kenal sangat. Aku harap , siapa yang baru bertatih macam aku supaya kita sama sama kuatkan semangat . InsyaAllah kita semua dibawah pengawasan Allah swt . Doa aku untuk korang semua , Barakah! :') 

Yang kerdil ,

Nur Aina.

Blood is thicker than water .

Assalamualaikum , hi ! 

It's good to be back writing after having too many circumstances on trying to updating this beautiful diari of mine . Thoo , nowadays we have Dayre , I'd still prefer blogspot. Lagi puas baca ! How are you guys doing ? I hope, you guys are all fine , good in shape , and blessed by Allah Swt . I'm fine as well alhamdulillah . 

Last Friday , my family gathered for some tahlil kenduri and kesyukuran because my toknid&toklid were safely arrived from Makkah for their hajj . Alhamdulillah , everything we smoothly and we were so touched , to look at everybody in telekung (a piece of cloth that we used to cover us , women , while praying) to recite the Yassin to our beloved late grandpa , (my great grandpa) , and to chit chatting on how's everybody is doing , alhamdulillah we were so blessed and thank you to all the family members that work hard to cooked the best that night ! The dishes are sooo delicious , I couldn't handle myself from having 3 plates of rice with asam pedas that night ! Thank you opah nakna , for the beautiful asam pedas ! It was as beautiful as you ;) 

Somehow , I realized how much families are important to us . They were there through our ups and downs . No matter how tajam their words towards you , believe me , it's all because they love you . It's all because they wanted to see you stronger in future , it's all because they knew , blood is thicker than water , and it's all because we are family . 

These people , will always be with you . No matter how hard your life is , how pleasure your life is .

These people , will always listens to you craps , pay attention to your drama , and laugh at you funny jokes . 

These people , will always be the shoulder for you to cry on , even it's only for 2 minutes . They are the one who'll let their Dorothy Perkin's have your tears stain on it . 

These people , are the one who's going to be damn stress on thinking "how am I gonna help this crazy girl ?" , 

These people , are the one who'll be singing you a birthday song , with cute little surprises for you . Even it's not Prada but you still happy , smiling all the time . 

These people , are the one who's gonna take care of you when you've being dumped by  your so called , boyfriend till jannah . 

These people , are the one who's gonna critics your ootd because they wanted you to look better and confidence on the other hand .

These people , are the one who's gonna be busy on your wedding day , the one who's gonna cry when your husband to be saying the akad in front of everybody .

These people , are the one who's gonna be excited to judge whether your baby's look similar to you or your husbie . 

These people , are the one who's gonna miss your single time , fan girling over boys group , staying up late night to enjoy the ladies night together when you're no longer have that time because you're busy handling the house chores and your babies are crying for milk .

These people , are the one who's gonna call you whether your going back to kampung or not because they misses you and your kids . 

And yet ,

These people , are the one who's gonna cry when you're no longer breathing .

These people , are the one who's gonna recite the Yassin when they misses you .

These people , are your family . 

Alhamdulillah , I'm so so so blessed to be born in this family , #AbuHassanClan , because they brought joys into my life . The taught me how to be goon in life , not only on how to look good , but how to be success in life . How to be passionate in whatever I am doing . How to be somebody in future . They taught me how to be confidence , but not being too over confidence . They taught me how to love , and how to let go , they taught me , girl's power , so boys can't ever cheat on me . They always taught me to enjoy my life but always know the limit . They always taught me to be fashionable so the world won't laughing out loud looking at my dumb ootd . They always taught me to be who am I today , because I'm best in being myself , and they know , nobody could replace me , the only Aina Izanie in our clan ;) 

I love my family , this big family of mine can never be replaced by anybody . Thoo , we are not as big as syed and Sharifah's family but we are always love being around together . 

They are irreplaceable. 

I love each of them and you can ask MalimNawar's people . They know each of my grand aunties and uncles hehe . Alhamdulillah , May Allah bless each of us , and grant us happiness , good health and success . Ameen ya Rabbal Alameen. 

                           

Blood is thicker than water . Picture taken during the tahlil ceremony . Some of us , the Abu Hassan's clan . Apps used (since u guys loves this question) ; photo blender . Colorful telekung , from ; Umi Hajar Collection . place your order now ! Xoxo